What does your “Village” mean in Motherhood and why is it important
Motherhood can be isolating sometimes. Parenting during lockdown certainly made things worse, but the truth is it can be isolating also in normal circumstances.
In the early days, I felt like I was carrying most of the responsibility of caring for my baby (even when I have a very loving and involved partner). Now, 5 years later I still feel like I’m the one who keeps on top of their physical and emotional needs. This is a BIG responsibility.
Raising children is not easy and having support around us as we go through this journey can make a massive difference in how we experience motherhood.
This is why getting yourself surrounded by people who get you and that you can trust is so important. However, it’s not always easy to find your “village”…
How can you finding your “village”
Meeting with your antenatal group
I know I was very privileged to have had access to an antenatal class, if you had the same luck, this is a good place to start. The people from your antenatal class will most likely be going through very similar challenges as you and will get what you are going through. I found speaking to my antenatal group and seeing what they were also going through very reassuring. It helped me realise that I was not the only one struggling in this journey.
Joining a mum and baby group
There are plenty of mum and baby classes on offer (some more affordable than others) and they are another good place to meet other local mums. Doing something like a class together can help you build and grow your friendship and hopefully take the relationship off the class - go grab a coffee, go for a walk, organise playdates with the little ones, etc… I host a mum walking group in South East London and I’ve seen many beautiful friendships made over a weekly meet-up.
I personally did all of the above when I had my first, however, as someone who has made her life and her home away from any close family, I always craved deeper, more meaningful connections… beyond the talks about our baby’s sleeping patterns and latest milestone.
“Motherhood is messy… As we navigate through the massive identity shifts that motherhood brings us, we may experience things that are not easy to talk about at the local baby sensory class…”
The thing is Motherhood is messy and let’s be honest, it’s not all roses! As we navigate through the massive identity shifts that motherhood brings us, we may experience things that are not easy to talk about at the local baby sensory class… Mixed feelings of happiness and overwhelm or anger, missing our old life, feeling equally blessed and lonely, or simply not loving it all!
Not only it’s not easy to talk about these feelings in a typical social setting, but we may also not feel safe to do so. So we avoid talking about the messy bits of being a mother, push the uncomfortable feelings down and keep going… pretending and ignoring a part of us that is very real and deserves to be seen and heard.
Join a Women’s Circle for Mothers.
This is exactly what a Women’s Circle is for. It’s a safe space to have these conversations. To bring all of who we are and what we feel to a space where we can be seen, heard and supported - without judgement.
The circle is a sacred space, where we follow some rules and rituals to make it safe for everyone. A place where we can connect with our wisdom and speak our truth. It’s amazing how this honesty and realness can foster a deeper connection between women and mothers and how a supportive community can start to grow as a result.
Not only do you get to speak your truth and connect with your intuition at a women’s circle but also, you give yourself a chance to just be you. Nothing else. No one else. Stepping away from the role of mother, wife, and daughter, to just be yourself. During this time, you can also relax, reconnect with your body, practice self-reflection, rest, and let yourself feel held and supported.
So there you go, if you feel like:
you want deeper connections,
find your own voice away from all the external noise,
be able to connect with your intuition and your inner power,
or if you just want to have some scheduled time to rest and disconnect from the demands of daily life… join your local Women’s Circle.
If you live in South East London, you can come and join The Mothership Women’s Circle - a monthly circle for mums of little ones of any age in a beautiful studio in Crystal Palace. Click here to find out when the next circles are, I will be happy to sit in circle with you, mama!
Sending you love,
Jazmin