There’s always time for tea.
Welcome to the fifth and last blog post of this Inspiring Mama series.
I weirdly wanted to cling to my job as a semblance of my old normality, when so much was new.
Bethan. Co-founder at The Hot Tea Mama
Bethan, tell us a bit about your motherhood journey, how did it all start?
I had my first baby when I was 32, and like most first time mums, I had no idea what to expect! I didn’t make the transition to motherhood very easy on myself for a few reasons…
Firstly, her birth coincided with us buying a house – we completed 6 days after she was born, and moved out of our 1 bed flat to a new area and a house which needed a LOT of work, 5 weeks later.
And secondly, I had worked all my adult life as a tea taster and blender, and again, her birth coincided with a huge re-brand at the company I worked for. This involved the launch of 100 new teas that I had developed! I foolishly said I’d do KIT days any time they needed to support the launch.
The result was that I didn’t enjoy a lot of the first 6 months of her life. Partly, I was shell shocked at the reality of being a mum – nothing can prepare you for the exhaustion and how hard establishing breastfeeding can be. And partly, I just took on far too many additional things. Setting up the house and working ad hoc with a newborn was not easy.
That said, I weirdly wanted to cling to these things as a semblance of my old normality, when so much was new. We didn’t know anyone where we moved to and I felt very lonely as Jake has his own business so didn’t take any paternity leave. Work gave me a sense of self, even though when I look back, it was a huge error to take on more tasks!
What has been the most difficult part about being a mum?
For me, the lack of sleep and also the huge increase in my mental load. In combination these can be hard to manage sometimes!
I always remind my friends that sleep deprivation is a form of torture, used to destabilise people mentally. And even though you love your baby, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t undergoing the same psychological stress from a lack of sleep.
Added to that, and especially as your children get older, the new requirements for nursery, packed lunches, shopping, clothes…the majority of which tends to fall on mothers, it can be really stressful.
I have definitely gone through periods of huge stress, which has impacted every aspect of my life, that I didn’t realise would happen.
Please, tell us more about HotTea Mama. How did you come to create your own tea brand?
I set up HotTea Mama with my friend Kate in 2017. Kate had 2 children less than a year apart, and as a result was either pregnant or breastfeeding for a long time. She asked my advice on what teas she could drink, as I’d been working as a tea taster and blender since we left uni. It was from this, that HotTea Mama was born!
I was pregnant with my second child when we started creating our blends, and we launch when he was 3 months old. You might be seeing a pattern in how I like to take on extra work when on maternity leave?!
We make teas to support women through the most rewarding but challenging times of their life. Initially we only focussed on pregnancy, breastfeeding and motherhood, but we now have a menopause tea blend and will shortly have a PMS tea too.
I use my tea knowledge to create every blend (I have a degree in Tea Science), and most importantly make sure they’re delicious. Each one is whole leaf, and packed into plastic free biodegradable tea bags.
I’m obviously biased though, but you don’t need to take my word for it, we won the Best Maternity Product in the UK Baby Awards in 2019, and won 2 Project Baby Awards in 2020.
How do you manage to keep work-life balance? Do you have any tips for other working mums?
I have been asked this a few times, and I think I should probably be honest and say that I am a terrible person to give advice on this.
Whilst I always make time for my kids, and don’t work if they’re with me. I have regularly driven myself into the ground working too much when they’re asleep!
That said, I have got better over the years.
My top tips are:
No mobile phone with me when I’m with the kids, including at mealtimes. It’s a tempting distraction to check emails or social media, and by not having it near me, I can shut off more.
Set an alarm if you’re working in the evening to avoid working late. Treat evening work as ‘power hour’s if you can, so you can switch off and get sleep after finishing.
Exercise. Pre-kids I used to go for 45 min runs every other day. Now I do 15 min Hiit every day, and maybe get a run 2-3 times a month, but exercise clears my brain and lets me work more efficiently. I am also nicer to my kids when I have got some stress relief out elsewhere!
Set reasonable expectations . Set out lists for what you want to achieve in the week, and then break down how you’ll do that with daily tasks. Tick them off and be reasonable with what is a priority. When you’ve done them, throw your laptop and phone away and play with your kids.
What advice could you give other mums in these particularly challenging times/?
Don’t be too hard on yourself – try to speak to yourself the same way you would your best friend.
I spent a lot of the early stages of my daughter’s life feeling like a failure and criticising myself constantly. I was very unkind to myself, in a way I would never have been to a friend. Or a stranger!
And on a different note – get outside as much as you can. Fresh air and a change of scenery can do a world of good, even if it’s not as easy to go for a coffee.
About Bethan:
Bethan is a world leading tea expert. Having worked over 15 years for some of the UK’s leading speciality tea companies, and was the first non-Chinese person to get a degree in Tea Science from The University of Agriculture and Forestry in Fujian, China. She runs HotTea Mama from her kitchen in Oxford, where she lives with her partner Jake and 2 gorgeous children.
Follow Bethan and find Hot Tea Mama teas on: Website - Instagram
